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Flat tire, parking ticket, asshole managers, Grandma telling me I'll lose my job, city ordinance, neighbours.... I'm now officially in misanthrope mode, and too depressed for alcohol to make it any better. I think if one more thing complicates my life and goes wrong in the next 24 hours, I will actually go find some way to commit suicide.

I think the worst of the storm is over, but thanks for making me feel like no one wants me to be here, life. All I wanted to do was enjoy my break and look forward to my date on Wednesday and plan the rest of my life.

Now all I hope for is to pass in my sleep. None of this shit is worth it and neither am I.

Funny how I read some articles this morning from NL about how trans people feel most unlucky and struggle with depression and suicide. It was meant to make me realise I'm not alone and it's tough but I can do it. Instead, I feel like it's tough and not worth the hassle. I'll always be fucked sideways, if not because of trans stuff then it's because I am different and will always be different, by choice and by nature. And no one likes someone who doesn't fit in like the rest of them should.


Every little bit helps. So does spreading the word. <3
and thirty back!

Video of Oomph!'s new single Zwei Schritte Vor (Two Steps Forward), featured in the new album Des Wahnsinns fette Beute (Crazy [/idiom]) releasing 18th of May.

I give you fair warning... The video is not very work safe (although it is censored apparently? Unless your boss/schoolmates/instructors are prude about sideboob) nor is it very brain... safe...

Under the cut: Dero crossdressing a bunch, tons of very juvenile humour, lots of sex and sexual innuendo, and perhaps some kid that just found video editing software for the first time?Collapse )

At any rate, I like the song and Dero's unashamed wrapped package. The video is pretty WTF, but the song is fun and catchy, and Dero fails at lapdances. I had quite the scholarly discussion with my birthday doppelgänger about it today:

Meanwhile, people everywhere screech back and forth about Oomph! selling out some more, inevitably missing the fact that every single Oomph! album has sounded very different since they started making music, children complain about Dero in a dress (when really, he just needed a more tasteful dress style), and Ji resumes not giving a shit.

I'm actually excited for the new album. Yay!
What song is stuck in your head?


PS. Go join this site and add me as friend because it's awesome.
What is the best way to develop a positive attitude?

Punch it in the balls
Which video game character would you like to have as your real-life BFF? One random response will win a $60 Amazon gift card! [Full contest rules here.] Don't forget to share your favorite gamer moments on at 3 p.m. PST for Free For All Friday (FFAF).

Definitely not an easy question to answer.
After much deliberation, I would have to say...


This guy is suave, sexy, and hell be damned if he won't go where he wants to. I think we'd get along in the sense that we both sort of roll on forward and never look back.
If you had the option to learn the exact moment and details of your death, would you choose to know?

What is something you would never want to change about yourself?

My self awareness.
If you could meet your true inner self, what would s/he look like, and what would s/he tell you?

It'd be my imaginary friend from way back when, that black dragon. He'd tell me to never lose my imagination. :)
If you were going to make a signature drink that was named after you, what would you put in it?

Vodka with a twist of lime, and blood.